The E True Hollywood Story of Steve's Wedding or Blondie's Bigger Better Burgers

Ok then, first up is Steve's "Bachelor" Party that wasn't really a bachelor party. Going into the occasion I had both no expectations and low expectations. Steve, while not a blatant "I Love Jesus and you should too" Christian, is very religious and hangs around with a highly religious group. I doubted that the party would be much like the picture you conjure up for that type of event. I was right, although the thing was still fun. First up was a camp fire and a hat full of dares that Steve had to do or face being written on in permanent marker. To his credit he did them all except 1 (jumping into the Assiniboine river... more stupid than plausible). The dares included: Eating a duck fetus (a delicacy in some country), allowing a dog to lick peanut butter off his tongue, getting wrapped up by saran wrap to a lamp post in his boxers, and something else that I can't remember.... After the gross out, we went bowling (there was about 18 people there, of which I new Steve....) Now, when I go bowling, I don't take it a lick seriously... I bowl like a maniac; tossing the ball in as many different ways as possible down the lane, launching myself down the lane, hurling the ball as fast as possible, and generally making a fool out of myself. I guess this was more than the uber-Christians had ever seen, because I was soon the hero and man of the night. They thought I was insane and couldn't stop laughing and cheering... it was weird... especially since that's how a lot of us who bowl a lot play the game (Matt, Jon, etc) It was nothing special for me, but to them, I became I legend... either that, or a lunatic...
Now Thursday I had to work, which was a busy and tiring day. After which I went with Ritchie (a co worker) to Lee's to watch Capturing the Friedmans, a great Doc about how a family gets torn apart by allegations of child abuse. It was super interesting and really allowed you to judge for yourself whether the situation was real or a figment of the children's imagination. Personally, I think that the father did the deed for sure, but the son was a little more confusing. It went both ways... sometimes it seemed like he had done it, while other times it didn't... Either way, the movie is riveting and totally worth seeing.
Friday afternoon I went to Blondie's with some people from work. Blondie's is famous for massive burgers that run the gamut from 1/8 of a pound to 9 pounds. I had a 1/2 pound burger which filled me up for the day. One of the guys had a 2 pound burger which was like a foot wide... He ate the whole thing... He is my size... It was nuts.... Oh yeah.. the burgers were awesome, but I don't think I ever want to see that much meat again in my life.
After the beef adventure was the wedding and it was truly a day of contrast. I was surprised at being invited, as I am not THAT close with Steve, but I was super grateful. The service part of it (the part I hate) was pretty good. Steve had written a song that he played and seemed to really affect some people in the audience. The father of the bride (I assume is a missionary) kind of took over the preaching part from the church's minister (which I assume was supposed to happen) and kept rambling on and on about how they were making a solemn vow to God. It was almost like he didn't think it would last and wanted to put the fear of God in 'em. At least that's what the cynic in me says... He also kept going on about how God is this and God is that. No one seemed to mind... The first minister guy also talked a lot about Jesus and God and how great they were... To me, someone who dislikes organized religion but believes in the source, it was really grating and annoying... But then the day wasn't for me, it was for Steve and Larissa... as long as they were happy then who gives a shit what I think.
The reception thing was awkward, as I didn't know anyone. The only people who I would know weren't able to make it (Dave and Trevor). I was seated at a table of people who were flying solo. Some dude from Ontario, a guy from BC, and a crazy long haired old guy who went to school with Steve. There wasn't very much conversation through the evening, but it wasn't 100% awkward... only about 50%. The reception line thing was probably the most awkward for both the fact that I am not one for small talk and because I was only a friend from high school. The parents didn't know me (even Steve's) and just politely shook my hand. Even Larissa didn't know me (and I've met her a few times). I literally only knew Steve...
The food was awesome; a Salmon dish, penne, cheesecake, salad, etc. Most of the speeches were good; short and to the point... with the GLARING exception of the sister of the bride, who rambled on for TWENTY minutes. She kept rambling on and on about how her faith in God was strengthened by Steve and Larissa and how much Larissa had meant to her growing up. I had nothing against the point, just that she kept repeating the SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN. She literally said the stuff about faith in Jesus and God 100 times... I wanted to gouge out my eyes and ears... Again though, the day wasn't for me, so my opinion is meaningless. Once the dance started, I said my quick goodbyes to Steve and left. I felt really out of place there, surrounded by people who were all super religious and all knew each other. I appreciated being invited, but I don't think I really belonged there... but it was an honour to be thought of. Steve is a great guy and deserves the best.
After the wedding, I hung out with Ryan, Andrew, and Tina at Ryan's place. Playing some Halo and NFL 2K5. Tina and I teamed up and through our lack of any kind of football knowledge managed to only lose in overtime. I blame Tina, because she kept hitting the dive butting and moving the wrong way... We missed SO many catches and tackles because of that. :) If it had been ME alone, I would've smoked those two.. Not that it matters...
Today is a work day that began with me getting woken up by my parents being loud and annoying in the morning and having to pay my car insurance (which is too expensive). We'll see what amounts from that tremendous start....