Chopping off the Excess or Looking Pretty!

Nothing extraordinary has happened to me in the past couple of days. Wednesday night I hung out with Lee and watched "Lost in Translation" as he had not seen it yet. Man, I really dig that movie. It's so different from the schlock that escapes Hollywood's ass these days. A story that takes its time to develop, establishes strong characters, and builds a believable relationship. While watching it this time, the ending got me closer to tears than I have been in a while. Not hearing what Bill Murray says to Scarlett Johannsen was brilliant. You are free to imagine anything there you want. It was more the emotion of the moment that got to me, but again, I was not able to cry. I don't think, apart from laughing myself to tears, that I have seriously cried in a long time. The last time that pops into my head was from watching "The Green Mile" with Rob... and that was like 2 years ago! There have been a lot of moments where I have felt the emotion brewing beneath the surface, but then when I try to let it flow forth it won't. Sometimes that makes me think that I might have distanced myself a little too much from my own emotions and that they can't come out anymore. Other times I don't really worry about it. I'm sure something will break through eventually. Last night I hung out with Dave and watched "American Splendor." He had not seen it and seemed to really dig its vibe. Being an artist himself, he seemed to be inspired by the Harvey Pekar story. I'd be lying if I said that the "success" of Pekar didn't make me feel hopeful for my own future as well.
The past couple of days I have been trimming my increasingly lengthening hair. I want to keep growing it for a while, to see how things turn out, but it needed some tailoring. The back had grown substantially longer than the rest and was bordering on mullet-dom so I had to lop some off. It might have been better to use scissors that weren't sewing scissors, but oh well... I must have taken off almost 2 inches once I evened it all out (which was a challenge with the shitty little mirror that I took from my mom's room). After that I decided to snip my "Fake sideburns." See, I can't grow real sideburns, so I let the hair around that area grow longer and hang down. Living in blissful ignorance was fine, until Terena said that they didn't look like sideburns, especially when they were as long as they were. I actually thought that they were fooling people, as the few who I told about them seemed surprised to find out their real source. I guess they were just humoring me??? Anyway, now that I trimmed them (they were almost down to my freakin' chin!) they look more like actual sideburns. We'll see what happens now!
Tomorrow night is Terena's birthday party, which should be fun. She is having a gaggle of people over to her place to celebrate. She warned me that she "loses herself" when she drinks and acts really crazy. She pre-emptively apologized for anything that might happen. The more pondering over that statement I do, the more I hope that it is a good sign. I hope that it isn't something along the lines of "I know that you really like me, so forgive me if I do anything to make you upset when I am drunk." And by that I mean, "I know that YOU like ME, so..." I don't want to be the only one looking for reciprocation here. Jesus I'm insecure sometimes... This is another example of something that I think too much on and get worked up over nothing (I hope!). I just need to go with the flow a little more and relax. I'm sure everything will turn out all right in the end.
Man... I don't know about me sometimes... I am both really easy-going and really anxiety prone... Maybe the two extremes I have balance me out perfectly?!?! Rather than maintain a stable middle ground, I jump from side to side like an insane frog. Oh well, I seem to be getting along fine...