Bizarre NEED to Get Out or Even More Bizarre NEED to Buy Something

While the two new meds were running their course this afternoon and I was trying for a little nap, I was filled with an intense and unignorable desire to go out and buy something. It seemed to be from an overall nervousness (which was one of the symptoms of one of the meds) as I was hearing odd sounds and voices. I could have SWORN that I heard a guy open the basement door and just stand there breathing... I knew it was all bullshit but still.
Then I went out and bought Futurama: Season 3 and The Charlie Chaplin Collection Volume 2.

This Has Been A Shitty Day Thus Far or Need Medicine

I think I got a little too hog wild with the salt water rinse and stuff because I couldn't sleep a wink last night. Not one iota! I drank plenty of fluids, paced back and forth and generally felt sorry for myself. I couldn't sleep at all and for a little while I thought I was having a panic attack. My heart rate jumped way up and my body started to bo banannas on me. It went away after a bit though. I just got back from another doctor who gave my a prescription for cortisone which is supposed to ease the swelling in the mouth and throat thus allowing me to BREATHE at night and actually SLEEP. I also got a refil for the mouthwash thing as it was 10000000000 times better than salt water. Hopefully this starts me off in the right direction!

I Thought Mono was Supposed to Make You Sleep MORE Not Have Insomnia or Can't Shake The Feeling

I don't think that I've been able to sleep much the past couple of days. This has been mostly due to the fact that my throat is sore and prevents it for a long period of time. But I think that it might also be due to a bizarre sense of fear that is now around when sleep comes into play. I can't really explain it, because I could attempt it ok during the day... but at night.... My mouthwash stuff ran out and apparently salt water works just as well. That is true, but lord help you if you happen to get some swallowed. I was going pretty alright till then but as soon as that happened, my night turned to shit. I keep feeling single grains of salt in my mouth at various intervals and its super annoying. Just another thing to keep me awake. The swallowed water is also making my tummy do a fun little game of its own. Then again it could be the fact that I am off the Codeine (which makes you constipated). Maybe all that stored up poo is racing to get out!
I think that maybe even the extra strength Tylenol is too much for what I need at this point. I was getting the heartbeat thing and sweatiness again from it (although not as bad from T-3).
I just want to get my life back to normal.... is that so much to ask!?!?!?!

I Wish This Would Just Hurry up and Go AWAY or Malaise Sets In

I think that it might be a symptom of the mono, and according to one internet site it is, but I've got some serious malaise going on. I'm never going to get better, it's too hard, my assignments are going to come out terrible, I'm not going to get any sleep tonight, the symptoms are going to get worse and I'll have to go to the hospital... I know that they are irrational but still.... I can't get them out of my head....
I think that I'm going to ditch the Tylenol 3 because it is making me feel more like shit then like roses. It's kind of like the insides are readying up some kind of explosion thingy... I figure that regular Tylenol should suffice should I need to take something for the pain. I mostly wish that the sore throat and/or sinus congestion would go away like right now and leave me with only one to deal with... The two together are a hideous bitch goddess. I managed to make it through class alright today but I think that I might have dosed off once or twice. I might have also made a bizarre noise, I'm not sure. I thought I heard a bizarre throaty noise and the guy sitting in front of me turned to face me.... I'm not sure though! I'm going to try to eat as much as I can today, as I've been mostly drinking things the past few days. I figure I can get some softer things down pretty ok.
I just don't want to have the inflammation get worse to the point where I have to go to the emergency ward... it's like admitting failure at being able to follow simple directions that relate to your own well being.... but it's not easy to swallow! I've managed to do some marginal chugging today but it was a painful experience... Lord I was born a rambling man.

Those White Blotches Just Won't go Away or I Intake Only Fluids!

Well, yesterday I got some medicine for my mono. This green mouthwash stuff that may or may not be helping (is it too soon to tell?) and some Tylenol 3 complete with Codeine baby! My throat gets super dry super quick so I keep waking up every hour or so when trying to sleep. It's tough to swallow the OJ, AJ, and water that I've been relegated to. Tough but not impossible. For some reason I am drawn to looking inside my mouth to see if the crazy white blotches are still there... and yes they still are. It is still possible that I have strept throat but I won't know for a day or so when the doctor calls. If that is the case I'll have to take penicillin too! I'll be all hopped up on meds!
I assume it was the codeine but I got super freaked out last night in bed. As I was lying on my pillow for some reason my mind was picturing a vast pile of pillows underneath mine. When I would get up for a drink it would be a weird process where all the pillows connected to the one I was on would unify. If I got up wrong the one that I was using would get buried. It's hard to explain really and completely non-sensical but it scared the hell out of me. Then for some reason it made me think about death and all that fun stuff which put me in an even more paranoid mood. I don't really remember how I got out of it...
I had to miss work the past two days but it was a bitch to try to phone it in. We got through to someone yesterday but not today... I hope they don't think I just no-showed. I did leave a message on my bosses phone so hopefully he got it and knows the truth.
I have to write an essay and do some serious work on my animation... I wonder if the Codeine will affect those??!!??

Yippie, I've got Mono or Throat SOOOOOOOOOOO Sore

After spending 3 hours in the waiting room and a sleepless night, I learned that I have mono. I also might have a strept throat as well, but I won't know that for a few days. My throat was so sore last night that I couldn't sleep a wink. The doctor is prescribing me some codine and a mouth wash until it can be determined if I will need penicillan. The plus side to all of this is that I won't be able to work, the down side is the fact that it fucking hurts to swallow. Seriously, it really fucking hurts. I'm going to be bedridden for a while so updates may or may continue in regular doses.

What the Hell is That? or Seriously, What the Hell IS that???

While brushing my teeth after supper (which was a bitch to swallow, what with the sore throat) I decided to look inside my mouth. Then I saw something ungodly. Near to the uvula is this giant white blotch with blood red lines around it. There is a similar white blotch on the other side of the uvula only not nearly as big. I assume that this is my tonsil. Extrapolating from that, I assume that my left tonsil is crazy swollen and inflamed. I showed it to my parents and they said to go to a walk in clinic and get it looked at. Well, I guess I'm off to do that... While I'm there I'll get him to look at my ear and tell me if it is just a symptom of the sinus congestion or if it is indeed infected... Fuck I hate being sick,,,

So I've got Some Sinus Congestion or These Pills Work Pretty Good!

Well, the good news is that my neck pain is gone, but the bad news is that over the past few days I've had some serious sinus congestion. At first I thought it was an ear infection (it still might be for all I know) but after talking to my boss who was suffering from the same symptoms, I've concluded that it is most likely congestion of ye olde sinus. It was pretty brutal for a day or so there, as my ear was all throbbing and shit. Last night I left work early to get some medicine. The stuff that my boss recommended was unfortunately locked up for the night (Pharmacy was closed) so I tried out some Dimetap Cold and Sinus. They worked out pretty good! While in effect, the ear pain subsided for the most part and the old nasal passages cleared up. It's still a little tough to swallow as I have a sore throat which I assume is not a symptom of sinus congestion. I can deal with just a sore throat, but that on top of headaches, throbbing ears, chills, fever type thing, and plugged sinuses was getting to be a bitch. I'd like to know what brought all this shit on... My mom says it's probably just from the changing weather or allergies, but I am not convinced. There must have been something that I did, or someone that I was in contact with that brought this all on. I've pretty much been under 100% since the super late night at Tyler's. A part of me wants to blame getting stoned and staying up too late for being sick... that's the part that likes to think God punishes me for doing "bad" or "stupid" things. That's also the insane part... seriously, sometimes I can be a little crazy. Most of the time I'm pretty rational, but occasionally.... whooooop there it is, Uncle Nutsy!
Another odd thing that has been happening to me over the past week or so is the fact that I have been uber thirsty in the middle of the night. I wake up with a parched throat. Oh yeah, that and I have to piss. Usually I don't wake up in the middle of the night needing a drink or having to piss. Maybe it's just a symptom of the sore throat thingy... I'm not sure why anyone would really be interested in hearing this but whatever...
After handing in the first draft of my script for the animated series pilot I made for my animated film class's optional assignment I was a little surprised to get the comments back from the prof. Basically, he said that he had no idea what was going on, and didn't understand it. He also didn't know what "visual style" I was going for and he didn't believe that a house party would contain so many different groups or "cliques." (The script was about a group of friends going to a house party and meeting different groups of people who they don't like... based on a true story) After explaining that I draw like shit and was hoping to have someone ELSE actually animate the thing, mentioning that it was a TRUE story, and saying what the point was, he seemed to have a better idea of the concept of the whole thing. He wanted to re-read it with this new knowledge. Personally I think it's just cause he's kinda old and the thing was more "current." I told him that I kinda took the idea from the show "Downtown" and he had never heard of it. Going over the actual script there were a bunch of lines that he had circled with question marks. They were lines that had slang in them. An example is the line that a bar star says "Drinking game holmes, you in?" referring to the root slang homey. The prof had no idea what that line meant at all, so I explained it to him and he seemed to better understand what was going on in that scene. I think that the thing will go alright in the end because the script is fairly different from what's been done before. Not 100% original, as I would call it a cross between "Daria" and "Downtown" but different enough to make it "fresh." I seriously think that if I were to write a few more scripts I could pitch it to the CBC or Teletoon or something. They are always looking for new Canadian content to air. I feel that this is something that might appeal to the age group that those stations are trying to attract... then again, maybe the whole thing is shit, I don't know...
This is odd, now my cheeks are starting to feel a little tender.... what the hell did I do now God??

Neck Pain or I'm Getting Down With the Sickness (Lounge Version)

So my neck hurts... I think I slept on it wrong... the only thing is that it's been hurting for a few days, so I guess I didn't learn my sleeping lesson. Weird thing was, last week it was my back, now it's my neck... Maybe I need to relearn how to sleep and sit or something... I know that I don't always have the best sitting posture and I'm TRYING to correct that but I'm also so lazy! As per the neck thing, I always seem to toss and turn when I sleep. When I wake up the sheets are all turned around and stuff. I try to sleep on my back (as I hear it's the best for you) but I always seem to end up on my side. My theory is that you sleep the way you were born. For people that came out on their backs, they sleep on their backs. People that came out on their stomachs sleep on their stomachs. Me, I came out on my side, so I figure I'm naturally disposed to sleep that way. It would be interesting to do an experiment to see if my theory holds any water... I doubt that it does, but who knows!
I have a sore throat right now... well not so much sore as it feels like the mucus in my sinuses has slid down into the back of my throat. Not quite the back of the mouth though, but that spot right before when the sinus meets the mouth. I'm sure that I could get it out if I just farmer blow hard enough... but so far no dice.
I picked up "Transformers: Season 3 part 2/Season 4" last night, thus, as the sticker on the box says, completing my collection. I also picked up a handfull of 6$ DVD's at Wal-Mart (EVIL!). I got "Targets", "The Tenant", "Outland", and "Night Shift." We watched "Targets" in one of my classes and it was cool. It was about a guy who loses it and becomes a sniper. The best part was that there was no attempt to explain why. He just started killing people.... that and it had Boris Karloff in it! I've never seen "The Tenant" but I hear good things... and hey, 6$ is almost the same as a rental cost. I like crazy coke-head Michael Keaton, so that explains "Night Shift" and "Outland" is essentially a western in space that I remember liking a LONG time ago... OH well, if not, it WAS only $6. There were couple of other movies there that I thought about getting but I had never seen either one and didn't feel like spending so much money. They were "The Virgin Suicides" and "Stardom" by Sofia Coppola and Denys Arcand respectively.
I went out "shopping" with Jay last night, which was where I picked up these DVD's. He wanted some Ice Cream, so we got some at McDicks. Man they totally bogart the toppings now. You get next to nothing! They don't layer or anything! Talk about ghetto. (See I'm hip!)
Maybe it's part of not feeling 100% lately, but I have little desire to DO anything... but then if I try to do nothing, I get antsy... Oh well, such is life... I have been worrying a little about my size. I think I've dropped about 4 pounds over the last few weeks from not feeling perfect. I'm skinny enough as it is dammit! I want to ADD weight, not freakin' LOSE it. And I don't mean add a belly either.... but add some Schwarzenegger. Oh yeah, I've decided to invent my own Canadian version of pikey talk. I rule!

Egads, I've got no Life or Tear me Away from this Stupid Computer PLEASE!

Ok... updating time...

Friday night I checked out "Dawn of the Dead" with Lee, Jay, Rob, Ashley, her boyfriend who thinks I'm a jerk, and some nameless people who were his friends. All in all, the movie was pretty great! I wouldn't say that it was a "film" in the art-house fag sense of the word. It was just a damned entertaining little diversion with blood, guts, comedy, and explosions. It wasn't really a remake either. The only thing it shared with the superior original was the setting of a mall and the fact that there were zombies. Interesting story about the trek to see the movie... well not so much interesting as long... I was trying to organize the evening so that I could see "The Old Man and the Sea" at the Imax before checking out Dawn. My plan was that Lee, Ashley, and I would see it first and meet everyone else at the next theatre a few minutes before the showtime. They would have saved seats and bought the tickets and everything! It would've worked out too, but Lee decided to go out to eat instead. I had told him to pick up tickets for Dawn earlier in the day so that we were not forced to repeat the "Starsky and Hutch" fiasco, where we did not get in due to sell out. Lee had said to meet at the theatre, but not what time. Jay and I went around 9pm (the show started at 10:20) only to find no one there. We checked out McNally and Zellers (saw a bunch of new He-Man figures...did not buy any) and still no Lee. At about 9:30pm Ashley and her crew showed up saying that Lee was supposed to be there now. Waiting another 15 or so minutes they got antsy and decided to buy their own tickets and get seats which would force Lee to return the ones he had bought for them earlier. Eventually Lee showed up and all was good. Oh wait, it wasn't. I had to wait outside for Rob, who showed up at about 10:19pm. Luckily we could all sit in relatively close proximity. While waiting for Rob, I was listening in on a conversation between a bunch of teeny boppers. Damn it was a laugh. They were talking about shopping and space camp and shit like that.
After the movie we decided to go to Perkins for a snack. As I was leaving the mall, I noticed a group of cute girls who had also left the theatre. I thought about inviting them along to Perkins, but pussed out. In retrospect, I totally should have, if only to say that I tried... Did I mention that they were cute? That and they would have HAD to be 18 in order to get in to the movie... Oh well....
At Perkins Rob told us all about his weird trend to draw penises on things at Red River... he's a little odd that one...
I have been downloading the covers for some of the CD's that I have made in the past while. It's surprisingly cool to see the ACTUAL cover for a CD instead of a bunch of stupid lame writing. I should probably mention that the process of finding, downloading, printing, cutting out, and inserting the covers takes FAR too long. I've been at it for FAR TOO LONG.
Then there is the whole making VCD's thing... I've been sitting here FAR TOO LONG!

No Longer Sick or What's With the Back Pain?

The good news is that I am no longer sick. That seemed to have gone away by Wednesday. The bad news is that my back has been hurting for about the last week, although today it is not as bad. I wonder if I hurt it at work and just didn't notice because of my fast paced crazy lifestyle. Or maybe I slept on it wrong or something... Either way, it sucks ass.
I was avoiding the computer for the past couple of days because I felt that I had been using it too much. What with the downloading and all. But I'm back now baby! It would be cool if I had a lot of things to fill in, but I don't. I've been watching my DVD's of "The Newsroom" and "The Office" both of which RULE. Killer comedy! I've also been watching "That's My Bush!" the short lived Trey Parker and Matt Stone show about George W. that we never got up here in Canada, which was too bad because it also ruled. The exact opposite of "The Newsroom" and "The Office." While they avoided "sitcom" areas of jokes, went in odd directions and focused on the characters personalities, "That's My Bush" was all about the zany sitcom situations and cliches. I'm talking wacky neighbor, overhearing only parts of a conversation, slutty stupid blondes, sassy maids, etc. Totally different shows, same results. A Laff Riot!

I am Still Sick or Ric Flair Forever!

The past couple of days have not been kind to yours truly. I've been suffering from a sickness. Unfortunately it's not one that goes down with a quickness either... Maybe it's a holdover from Friday night, but I've been dizzy, light-headed, chilled, and sore for the past couple of days. I broke my rule of taking medication for "trivial" illness too. I took some Tylenol... Why I have a rule, I don't know... I needed to work on homework the past couple of days, but I've been essentially out of it.
Sunday night I went to a Wrestlemania XX party which was ok. The event itself was INSANELY LONG (I'm talking 4.5 hours) and only 3 matches were any good. Not that I really care about the WWF anymore, but still... at least they gave the belt to Chris Benoit.
Today I slept till about 12 and then sat around watching all 3 discs of "The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection." I was not feeling up to anything else. That and I love Ric Flair... he rules! There was one promo on the disc that was too funny. Essentially he said "Steamboat there's the best and the worst. I am the best, you are the worst." His facial expression and delivery were amazing. I was laughing until I felt dizzy (more so.) Reading the line probably doesn't mean anything, you'd have to hear him say it... but trust me, it was HILARIOUS!
Still dizzy and cold...

The Steve Breadstone Experience or I Stayed up How Late?

So last night I checked out my buddies Jay, Tyler, and Derek's sketch comedy show entitled "Make Way Losers!" They perform under the name "The Steve Breadstone Experience" and I must say that it was pretty damn funny! I was impressed that there were no sketches that stood out as being "bad." Usually there are one or two that aren't funny but they had a solid lineup through and through. The only thing that I wish was that they had more costumes for the sketches where they weren't playing themselves. But I totally understand that they are just starting out really, so don't have all that much bread. Jay managed to dislocate his knee during the performance and afterwards it swelled up like Dave Foley. This was not his bad knee that he injured so that means that he is now down to a whopping ZERO good knees! Knee braces, here comes Jay!
Afterwards we adjourned to Tyler's where copious amounts of what the rasta call "ganja" was smoked. I remember amusing myself immensely by twirling my head around in circles. I also ate a bunch of pizza, kielbasa, cheese, and chips. We ended up staying until 5 am for some reason...
Being super stoned is all well and good if you can have a good night sleep, but I was not blessed with that luxury. At about 8:30 -9am ish my parents started making OBSCENELY LOUD NOISES that woke me up. I'm not fully sure what they were doing, but my mom was yelling and the dog was barking. I think they were play fighting or some other crap like that. Either way it woke me up and fucked up any chance of sleeping off my highness. I ended up not being able to get back to any real degree of sleep and decided to wake up officially at around 11am. Needless to say I feel like shit today. I did not do anything constructive and pretty much dragged my ass at work. Luckily work was a breeze as the weather prompted a bunch of buses to be unable to make it in or out of the city. Our work quotient was pretty low, even for a Saturday. I now need some serious sleep as I was invited to a Wrestlemania XX party tomorrow and I wouldn't mind attending.

Holy Crap That was FAST or I've Got a LOT of Stuff to Watch Now!

Shockingly, the order I placed with Amazon arrived today. I say shockingly because I was told that it wouldn't ship until April 5th. Here's what I picked up:

Tributes: Remembering some of the World's Greatest Professional Wrestlers,
Bodyslams: Memoirs of a Wrestling Pitchman,
Mick Foley's Greatest Hits and Misses: A Life in Wrestling,
The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection,
From the Vault: Shawn Michaels,
Bloodbath: Wrestling's Most Incredible Steel Cage Matches,
The Office: 1st Series,
Made in Canada: Season 1,
The Newsroom: The Complete Series,
The Diamond Superman Collection

Suffice to say I now have a lot to watch. You might be noticing a theme of wrestling stuff here and that is because I have been a fan of it for about 20 years now. I no longer really watch it anymore but used to be pretty hardcore into the stuff. I consider myself a connoisseur who appreciates the finer aspects of the sport and who would one day like to be involved in it in some way. At one point I had hoped to become an actual wrestler, but my lack of size is a detriment to that ever actually happening. It'd be cool to be a manager or a commentator though.... perchance to dream!

The Movie CAN be Better Than the Book or So Much Cheers...

The Saturday and Sunday portions of the weekend were filled with work, so I didn't really do all that much else. Saturday night after work (at 11:30pm) I went to my friend Dan's wedding social for a bit. I used to work with Dan at EB and hadn't seen him in a while, so it was great to catch up. I also ran into some of my other co-workers including my former boss who I had a little bit of a confrontation with when I quit. He was giving me these odd looks but was polite enough when I briefly talked to him. I'm not sure if there was some tension or not. The story of the quitting confrontation is a long one and I will talk about it some other time. The point is that I bumped into some people that I haven't seen in a while and it was pretty good.
I have been trying to watch my DVD of the second season of Cheers this weekend and I am almost done. I watched 3 1/2 hours of it yesterday alone. The more I watch it the more 2 things happen; the more I remember seeing the episodes as they actually aired, and the more I see how the show was such a great character show. That's not to say that I didn't always think that it was a great character show, because I did, but it's easier to appreciate now watching so many episodes at a time. The writer's did a great job of having the characters grow throughout the series. One thing that's odd in watching this season is that there are some side characters that they tried out who totally sucked and were eventually dropped. There was a guy named Paul (not the chubby Paul from later in the show) who would only insult Cliff. All he did was call Cliff names and it was super annoying. Luckily he was off after a few shows. Another thing that's odd is that they try way harder to have Boston accents. Almost all of the "no-name" people with lines have SUPER thick accents. Cliff also talks pretty thickly Bostonian. I guess after a while they just dropped the whole thing and moved on. I am looking forward to the later seasons to come out, because I like Woody and Rebecca WAY more than Coach and Diane. Oh yeah, and Robin Colecorde, Kelly, Paul... man, the later seasons ruled...
I also read the book "Fight Club" this weekend. Being a huge fan of the movie I figured that I should read the book it was based on. I must say that this was one time where the movie was better than the book, although the book was pretty good too. There were a lot of minor changes in the movie that made the narrative stronger in my opinion. Although for the most part they are EXACTLY the same, as the book is told from 1st person with lots of statements of philosophic intent. The reason the movie translated so well was the narration from Edward Norton. It was a rare example of voice over working. The ways in which the book differed was that Tyler killed people and was totally brutalized at the end. I'm talking tongue cut off, teeth pounded out, cheeks ripped open brutalized. Oh yeah, that and he ended up in a mental hospital. I kinda liked the end of the movie more, when they blew up all the buildings of the credit card companies. Oh well, you can't win them all...
In the 80's Markie Post was fucking hot.

Poor Rob or That was a Bust and a Half

Well... last night was definitely one of those awkward situations that you hope not to have to relive again.. at least for poor Rob. The story goes like this. We were all going to go see "Starsky and Hutch" at Grant Park, but by the time Jay and I got there, it was sold out (which was weird because we were there over an hour ahead of time). We were supposed to get a ticket for Rob, who was not done work till 10pm. Unable to do so, we went to visit him at work and inform him of the problem. While there, he told us that he had met some "smoking hot" girls who came in to the service station and asked to use the bathroom. Letting them do so, he started chatting them up and was told of their plans to go bowling later. He gave them a ride to the alley and said that they invited him to come along after work. He seemed really excited so Jay and I went along with him and a co-worker to meet them. First of all, they were like MAYBE 16 (which isn't a problem for Rob) and second of all, it was painfully obvious that from the get go they did not want Rob there. He tried talking to them for a bit but they kept brushing him off. We figured that we would go upstairs and see if there were any free lanes, but there weren't. Rob then figured that he should go talk to them and Jay provided backup. From what I was told, one of them kept saying "goodbye" "this is a private function" over and over again to Rob trying to get him to leave and another one said "I can't believe you invited him." It was basically poor Rob standing there being told he wasn't wanted and to leave. That's gotta hoit... My opinion on the whole thing was that Rob kinda set himself up for that kind of this but on the other hand they DID invite him to show up. If they didn't want him there why the hell ask him then? I assume it was because they figured that he wouldn't show up. Still, it was super rude of them to do that... but if Rob hadn't of gotten worked up, the embarrassment wouldn't of happened. Oh well...
After that fiasco, Rob and his co-worker went home so Jay and I adjourned to Tyler and Kerrie's to sit around and chat, while casually watching TV. The usual occurrence of my car getting blocked in happened again. They have a parking spot that they don't use, so whenever I am there I park in it. A few times now, someone has parked behind me, blocking me in. Because the spot is reserved, it's able to be a tow zone. Luckily the owner has been next door to move the car for me, but still... it's a hassle to have to wait around for the joker to move... at least he was polite about it (I guess he has to be since we could get his car towed..) All in all, it was an odd mishmash of an evening.

Oh God That Was TERRIBLE or Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better!

I got suckered into seeing a film at the NSI film fest last night as Jay had some free tickets. The title of the movie sounded promising: "Graveyard Alive: A Zombie Nurse in Love." But oh dear god was it terrible. First of all too much of the dubbing was atrocious, and this wasn't something that you can explain away as intentional. Some of the ADR was perfect, but a lot of it was off... The voices that were used did not fit the actors either. Later we learned that the movie was intended to be a silent movie but when that didn't turn out they recorded dialogue over what the actors had been mouthing. They couldn't get all the same actors so they just used whoever. If that was the only flaw, I could forgive it, as it was born out of necessity. Too bad there was MUCH more crap in the movie. First of all the plot. A nurse gets bit by a zombie and starts to turn into one. She is also in love with a doctor at the hospital of her employ. Sounds ok right? WRONG. There wasn't enough horror in the movie to appeal to a horror fan and there was too much to appeal to a romance movie fan. Granted, it was MOSTLY romance and only a little horror, but it was still a stupid mishmash. It had a few gags that were meant to lighten the mood, but they weren't funny... My question for the filmmaker is: "Who the hell is this movie for?" It's not going to appeal to horror fans (the ones who would go to see it with a title like that) because it is too much of a romance movie, it's not going to appeal to romance fans because of the title and the fact that it has some gore, and its not going to appeal to fans of cheesy movies because it is played too straight. It was shot and scored like a serious "Art" movie when it was not. If you are trying to make a silly movie then you have to go over the top, you can't play it straight and expect it to be funny. The main problem with the whole plot was that when a zombie ate flesh, they reverted to being a normal human again. They would decompose later, but stayed coherent and human as long as they were eating flesh. Ummm.... what? If that logic stayed in the movie throughout fine... but at the end, a human nurse was being chased by the staff of the hospital (now all zombies) who shuffled and moaned like traditional zombies. I understand why that happened, as the director wanted a "zombie movie" ending but it made no sense with the logic of the movie. The film was also broken up with "chapter breaks" that had no purpose and bookended by a guy doing a Rod Serling "twilight zone" voice knockoff. Neither thing needed to be there, they did not fit with the tone of the movie. If I had paid to see it I would feel ripped off... Overall a film like this gives me hope for myself, because I KNOW I could do better. :)
Wednesday night I hung out with Lee and Ashley and we baked a cake! Well, baked as in used a cake mix... but we made the icing! Well... Ashley did most of the work as Lee and I supervised and made snide remarks... We rule!

I Won't Even Bother Responding or Density-ville Population Ryan

Here is the final email that I will get from him on this, as I see no need in bothering to try to get him to understand anything anymore:

<<
dear lost in yonkers

since neither of us seem to be able to fully understand the expressed viewpoint of the other i say gg. this rhetorical banter is inane and a complete exaggeration oif the initial argument. it's over. so be it. let's put one to rest.

ps. "if" i ever tell you anything that may resemble a potentially private or personal matter again (not likely) i hope you have the sense and discretion not to be a complete cretin and run your mouth to the entire peanut gallery

RM

>>

I especially like how he said that neither one of us can understand the viewpoint of the other... that's just so fucking typical. The whole god-damned time I have saying that I see where he was coming from but trying to enlighten him as to where I was coming from. He is so unable to even BEGIN to understand empathy that he can't even see when people are using it with him. If all that has come out of this is that he will no longer tell me "secrets" or his perception of secrets than I say "hey, good things CAN happen to you too!" Trying to help someone understand things on a higher level who can't even SEE that level is a frustrating experience to say the least. If/when I ever hang out with him again it will be "in the mire of the masses."

On another note, I did a good deed last night. I was driving down Eldridge and upon coming to Harstone, I encountered a girl who was nearly in her own ditch. Getting out and giving her a push proved futile (I am only one man after all!) so I quickly drove and got Dave (who's house I was on my way to anyway). Even both of us couldn't move the damn thing much so we flagged down another car and with newly added pushing power were able to get the car back onto the driveway. The girl (who may or may not have been cute) offered to buy us anything we wanted at Cosmos (her place of work). Dave suggested that we go there sometime to cash in on the offer, but I wasn't really thinking about any kind of reward at all. Who knows, though, maybe I'll be hungry someday....
In class today we watched some really amazing animated shorts including: "The Man Who Planted Trees" (which always brings a tear to my eye) "Crac", "The Cat Came Back" and "Get a Job." These were all Canadian films which just goes to show you that Canada rules at everything! Seriously though, "The Man Who Planted Trees" is one of those quietly life-affirming, touching, and heroic stories that touches a nerve... the nerve that makes you cry out of happiness, sorrow, and hope. Hope that wasn't too sappy for you...

I Officially Give up or It's Just Not Worth It...

I got this back from Ryan:

<<
omg, what else can i say

it's not about the situation. it's not even about what was said.
it's about who said it and to whom. that's the point. that's the
bottom line. bring your philisophical cock of the walk psycho babble
mentality down a few notches and you'll see this is the most basic
of arguments. an infraction, a penalty, an apology. THAT'S IT. damn,
you're becoming more like a ignorant political spin doctor every
bloody day. stop bein a defenseive rhetoric twisting ranter and try
being a freind.

RM

>>

So I hope that my response ends the whole thing:

<<
First of all you have been demanding an apology this whole time. One was given twice already.
Second of all you are only seeing things in a narrow mindset. There are two sides to everything. To reiterate my side again, seeing as how you continue to avoid even registering it, I DID NOT KNOW THAT THOSE COMMENTS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE KEPT SECRET BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS SAY SHIT LIKE THAT TO PEOPLE. If I had known that what you said was somehow different from the other things you say, then I would have kept it secret. There is nothing spin-doctory about that, nor has there been in anything that I have written to you. I have been trying to have a serious talk about larger issues but you are unable to grasp that. I have officially given up. I highly advise you to learn empathy because people have been using it with you for a long time without seeing any in return.

I AM SORRY THAT I TOLD PEOPLE WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET. The next time you want something to remain a secret, just SAY SO.

By writing this a THIRD time I hope the matter is now closed:

Ian
>>

It's impossible to have a conversation with him that is not on the most basic of levels. I have tried many times unsuccessfully and this will be the last one. From now on, it'll have to be "so how about that kick ass Bruce Willis movie" or "man, we were so drunk last night" or "football rules." He is unable to ever put himself in the mindset of another making it impossible to have an intelligent exchange with him or show him how he might be wrong in a situation. I always notice his parents sighing when they get mad at him about something and he fails to see any fault in his actions (whether from not cleaning up, eating someone else's food, etc) and I can totally empathise with them. It's so fucking frustrating to try to have an intelligent, thoughtful conversation with someone who is neither intelligent nor thoughtful. To think of all the times that I defend him to the people that he assumes are his "real" friends. That is not to say that I don't laugh at his simpleness, because I do, but I always try to put him in a positive light when other people say things like "Ryan is so fucking stupid" or "Ryan is the dumbest guy alive." Well, it's just not worth it anymore. It's not worth having him constantly make fun of me for being single, calling me gay, making fun of what I wear/how I look, making fun of my build, for my not drinking all the time, for my outside interests, etc. It's not fucking worth it anymore.
Let this be a lesson to you all... jocks can't coexist with brains.

Continuing with Correspondence or Oy Vey!

The newest email I have received:

<<

omg Ian
wtf r you talking about? seriously. LOOK, i'm gonna spell it out for
ya crystal clear, because, apparently you're more oblivious and
ignorant than i thought. THE POINT IS: you breached confidence by
spreading my thoughts, not yours to tell, to others that could have,
POTENTIALLY, been harmed by the nature of said comments. PLEASE IAN,
knock your head up against a wall or something, and cease with this
lame pathetic blaming of others. YOU fucked up. deal with it. all i
wanted was, "i'm sorry, i shouldn't have relayed those confidential
comments to others. my fault." something like that? too much to ask?
really Ian, get a clue.

RM

>>

So I responded with:

<<
Reading something and understanding something don't always go hand in hand do they?

I will make the baisc point of what I have said as clear as possible:

You are getting pissed off because I relayed something that was possibly inflamatory around to others. Based on your personality and how you are perceived by others I did not think that the comments you made WERE inflamatory. The reactions received prove this fact.

I won't bother re-explaining the rest.

Ian

ps
Where have I blamed others anywhere? Since the beginning I have assumed responsibilty for this and have already said what you seem to think I haven't said. But since this is only going to continue on in a futile circle...

"i'm sorry, i shouldn't have relayed those confidential comments to others. my fault."

>>

I knew that this would continue on until he heard what he wanted to hear and no amount of attempts to create a dialogue on the root causes and perceived effects of this type of thing was going to work. I stll stand where I stood on this from the beginning. He says stuff like this all the time and word gets around very quickly. The only difference here is that he found out. He also constantly says stuff like this to people's faces (I assume inadvertently). I attempted to enlighten him on why people merely passed this off as a common occurrence for him, but he would not hear it. In his mind this particular prick-comment was worthy of being kept confidential. I guess I didn't think that this statement was something that was out of the ordinary and thus worthy of remaining a secret. I am not removing myself from blame nor have I been anywhere in my emails. What I have said was that had I known that this was somehow considered something to be kept secret I would have, but based on Ryan's history I didn't see how it was.
On another note, Bill Murray didn't win the best actor Oscar and "Triplets of Belleville" did not win the best animated feature award. Not having seen "Mystic River" I can't be a fair judge of Sean Penn's role in the movie, but from all accounts the academy is more rewarding him for past roles that should have earned him the award (Dead man Walking). The Oscars always do shit like this... they slight someone the year they deserve it only to give them the award later on to "make up" for it. Al Pacino for "Scent of a Woman" , Denzel Washington for "Training Day" , Paul Newman for "The Color of Money" , Peter Jackson for "Return of the King", etc. Here's a thought, give them the award for the movie/role that they most deserve it for. Although at this point the academy is so far behind that they will never get to the year when they can do that. From what I hear, unless something crazy happens, Bill Murray will win next year for the new Wes Anderson movie. Even if it's really good, it will probably pale to the nuanced and deeply touching role he did in "Lost in Translation." Oh yeah.... I just want it to be known that I do not watch the Academy Awards. I only find out the winners via the newspaper the next day (or in this case, the internet). Oh yeah, another thing... "Finding Neemo" was such a lame and safe choice for best animated feature. Next time reward something that hasn't been done a zillion times before (story wise) and give it to something different that stretches what common perceptions of animation are. I guess last year was just a fluke when they gave it to "Spirited Away." Then again, it DID have the Disney machine behind it... and what was it against... "Ice Age, Spirit, Treasure Planet, and Lilo and Stitch" not exactly "good" films. So to NOT give it to "Spirited Away" would have been the crime...
Oh well I don't really care anyway... just thought you might like to hear what I think.... oh wait... I don't care if you want to hear it...it's MY blog, I'll write what I want! No one is forcing you to read it.... yet...