The Book of Eli or Eerily Similar

So last night I watched the Book of Eli after having wanted to for a while. Now at first, this movie was shockingly similar to a script that I wrote a while back. A lone wanderer trudging through the wasteland, hunting game, trading goods at a shop in a small town. The main difference was that mine was in a winter wasteland, not a dried out post-nuclear one. There were some pretty solid action scenes, done without massive amounts of cutting, which I always appreciate. Then at about the halfway point, Mila Kunis shows up and nearly ruins everything. She is far too clean, with perfect eyebrows, skin, and hair in comparison to EVERYONE ELSE IN THE MOVIE. Her appearance takes you completely out of what you are watching. Sometimes, this can be saved by a good actress, but she is most definitely NOT a good actress, so it all goes downhill from there. Then you get to the ending, that actually makes the rest of the movie impossible. I know they wanted a shocking twist, but it doesn't make any sense with what you watched! What the real problem here seemed to be was that there needed to be one or two more drafts of the script before starting. The cinematography and action sequences were all top notch, but the story... blegh.
If you plan on watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand, be prepared for a great many penis shots. Like at least 1 or 2 in each episode, some held on camera for a long time. I guess this is payback for having seen so many boobs throughout the course of the show...
I entered into a jiu jitsu tournament over the weekend, which was definitely an experience. We only really grapple a little in Hapkido, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I lost both draws in the opening round, but not by a blow out or anything. My strategy to get ahead on points and then lay on the guy for the rest of the round almost worked both times, but circumstance got in the way. One thing I did notice was that the 170 I weighed was not at all similar to the 170 of the other competitors. Much stockier and stronger overall. In fact, I was the tallest one in my divisions, which seems odd. I had a disadvantage from the start. Also, in talking to the two guys who "beat" me, they had each been doing jiu jitsu for 2 years. Not sure how that makes you a beginner, but hey, I didn't organize the tournament. I have some videos of my matches, but I am not sure if I will do anything with them. I guess I learned that I need to be more aggressive when I grapple and that if I am to enter another one, I should actually take a formal jiu jitsu class first.

The Pleasantness of Fiction or An Average Life

Sometimes I get to thinking about how much more interesting and dramatic people's lives seem to be in song and film. Note: I understand how that is the point of fiction. What I am getting at is the songs about breakups that hurt, the films about a deep romance, films about some kind of life changing epiphany, etc. These types of things make both your own life seem a little dull by comparison but also make you wonder if you are in fact living an interesting life. I've had a few relationships in my time, not a lot mind you. I've been dumped, but it never really "hurt." I was never in a place where I was so down in the dumps that I didn't know how to go on. The closest I ever got was the time period in Junior High/ High School where I did not have a girlfriend and began to question what was wrong with me that the girls seemed to stay away. (This was despite having a girlfriend for a period in grade 11). A friend at one of my jobs is down in the dumps over a girl that he seemingly was not all that interested in (at least outwardly). He's talking about how depressed he is and how hard it is to go on, to sleep, to focus, etc. but I just don't get it. The one time I was dumped in a "hard" way, the girl was in tears as she did it, but I just kind of sat there. She asked me if I was upset, and I told her I was, but I was really just saying that. I didn't really feel anything. She was my "first" so you'd think that would have meant something, but I guess it didn't. Now am I just an emotionally centred person who does not suffer the highs and lows that seem to affect others? Perhaps. Or perhaps I am more of a person who avoids emotions. I have thought of myself as both at various times in my life. I prefer the centred explanation, as that makes me sound more like a samurai and samurai's are cool.
Back to my original point, when you watch a movie/hear a song, people seem to have much more interesting lives than what I am leading. I've had fairly stable relationships, jobs, home life, financial situations, which is a blessing I know. But I've also stayed in Winnipeg for all my life (apart from travelling on short trips here and there). I've never lived anywhere else, tossed myself in a crazy situation and tried to sink or swim. I guess I'm just not that kind of person. I have always had an itch to go to Japan or Korea to teach though. Mostly Japan, but I hear that Korea is a blast as well. My brother got to go there as part of a student exchange and seemed to have a good time. I'd like to try that. It may be more difficult now though, what with a kid on the way. Difficult, perhaps impossible.
Maybe I need to just concentrate on what I am and not worry about what could be. You can get sucked in to worry and doubt and forget that you are alive and not living in a trash bin downtown.
I am thankful that I am alive and not living in a trash bin downtown.
Who knows what the future may bring, but I just need to know that I have not been pissing away opportunities by being centred, level headed, fairly frugal, and somewhat static. Or would doing the opposite of all those things just not be who I am? Food for thought I guess.
Last week I went to see The New Pornographers, playing with the Mountain Goats at the Garrick Theatre with Lee. I have a couple of TNP CD's but wouldn't call myself a mega fan or anything. I had also never heard of the Mountain Goats. TNP were kind of a bland live act. They played their instruments well, if loud, sang all the big "hits" but never really did anything to make it special. They also had like 10 people on stage, which was too many. The Mountain Goats on the other hand, made an instant impression. The blaring voice of the lead singer and his drive forward approach to folky type music certainly got the crowd interest. He engaged the audience, cracked jokes, took some requests, and generally did whatever he could to get noticed. He succeeded with me, because I remembered them enough to check out a couple of albums. There was one song I liked called "This year" and now that I have been able to actually better make out the lyrics, I like it more. So Mountain Goats, mission accomplished, your performance made someone go out and learn more about you.
I have been trying to watch some of my collected DVD's and TV shows lately. We're currently blasting through The Big Bang Theory Season 1 and Spartacus Blood and Sand Season 1. Talk about two extremes. One has violence and nudity and the other geek references in a sitcom setting. Both are good in their own way though. Also, you get to see Xena naked and she's really held up well over the years!
Well, that's enough pointlessness for now.

Why am I here again or Emo to the MAX

So I returned to a job that I had originally quit. I was gone for about a year then was asked to come back as my replacement was leaving. At the time, Greyhound was seemingly drying up with the threats to shut down and hours being cut back, so I decided that it was in my best interest to have a job and money coming in. We were also buying a house, which tends to cost a wee bit o' bread. My mom was constantly on my case about working at Greyhound saying things like "You didn't go to University to work there all your life did you?" My mom can sometimes nag, but I don't think she means anything malicious by it, she just thinks that she is being helpful. Part of the problem is that Greyhound pays much better than my job in the film industry. Well, not so much IN the film industry as working in a support capacity FOR the film industry. This is quite possibly the shittiest thing to do, as the film industry is the biggest pile of bullshit, filled with self important douchebags, waste of everyone's time and money that there is. I work with people, not in my office mind you, but the kinds of people that I have to help, that are full of their own crapulence in a way not thought possible before having met them. These people, and it tends to be the ones who AREN'T huge and haven't done a lot of movies, seem to think that they are better than everyone, that they deserve all whims catered to, that they are doing work so important that everyone should fall at their knees, and that their piece of shit movie is going to be huge. Probably 95% of what I do never goes anywhere, as funding falls apart and the movies never get made. That tends to give one a cynical attitude towards the task that one does. So when I get a script on my desk that is crap, but the producers/directors want some very specific type of location or look and this type of place probably does not exist anywhere but in the imaginations of the writers, and know that I am in for a shitty day. Manitoba is a huge province and there is no way that we could have photos of every location here, nor is there any way that I could have knowledge of every place here. In fact, I have only been to so many towns/parks/beaches/etc. so anything else is all from google or others. When someone demands that we find them a incredibly specific place and I am told to bend over and take it up the pooper for them only to have the project never happen, I tend to feel like my efforts are not only in vain, but futile and ultimately pointless. And to think that I used to feel that way at Greyhound. Hey, at least there I could say that after a days work I had sent X number of packages or passengers on their way. At least I had that. Here I have NOTHING. I spend X number of hours and receive Y amount of shit from people only to have all that work evaporate into a void of nothingness. I'd like to AT LEAST be able to say that the time I spent here on earth had some kind of purpose and outcome. Even sitting at home doing "nothing" has more of an output as I am in fact either recharging batteries, thinking deep thoughts, or doing any number of minor things that need doing around a house. But when I drive around or spend a jillion hours looking for some kind of location that may or may not exist only to have the rude and entitled people who asked for that location disappear back into the ether from whence they came and never emit a whisper about their "amazing" script again, I get discouraged.
When I was here originally, this got so bad that I would have minor "attacks" not panic or anything, just a feeling of dread and dispair at having to go to work, before getting out of bed. So many times I just wanted to stay at home and not go in to work. I finally got the courage to walk away from the steady paycheck and all was well. But then flach forward and here I am back. It's all deja vu.
There are other reasons why I am unhappy where I work, but I will get into those another time. Suffice to say that I must escape soon. I had planned on sucking it up until March when I could take Paternity leave, but that seems so far away. The only problem with leaving would be the huge hit financially I would take if I did take Pat leave. That means having to continue my 7 days a week working schedule (both jobs) for 9 more months. That effectivly means my entire 30th year of my life will have been spent working 7 days a week (minus the odd holiday here and there) in one job I hate and one that is fairly menial. When I look back, is that the memory I want to have of this time period? I would assume that the memory of becomming a dad would be in there somewhere, possibly at the forefront, but who can say. Maybe this is what they mean when they talk about the sacrifices you have to make when you have a kid to support. Did my dad work in a place he hated just to put food on the table? God I hope not, that is so depressing to think of. I must find an escape soon or I shall go mad! Well not really, just more and more, not depressed, but close to that.
This all makes me sound so emo doesn't it. At least I have a job you know? I could be on the street, living in some third world country or dead. So I have that going on. I just didn't think that this was where I would be in my life at 30. Not that I had some clear picture of where I would be mind you, I just knew it wouldn't be here. What would be nice would be if I could sell a/multiple script(s). Surely that would solve my problems. Come on universe, Make it happen!
Sorry for the ramblings, but it helps to just type and not let relfection hold back your thoughts....