The Pleasantness of Fiction or An Average Life

Sometimes I get to thinking about how much more interesting and dramatic people's lives seem to be in song and film. Note: I understand how that is the point of fiction. What I am getting at is the songs about breakups that hurt, the films about a deep romance, films about some kind of life changing epiphany, etc. These types of things make both your own life seem a little dull by comparison but also make you wonder if you are in fact living an interesting life. I've had a few relationships in my time, not a lot mind you. I've been dumped, but it never really "hurt." I was never in a place where I was so down in the dumps that I didn't know how to go on. The closest I ever got was the time period in Junior High/ High School where I did not have a girlfriend and began to question what was wrong with me that the girls seemed to stay away. (This was despite having a girlfriend for a period in grade 11). A friend at one of my jobs is down in the dumps over a girl that he seemingly was not all that interested in (at least outwardly). He's talking about how depressed he is and how hard it is to go on, to sleep, to focus, etc. but I just don't get it. The one time I was dumped in a "hard" way, the girl was in tears as she did it, but I just kind of sat there. She asked me if I was upset, and I told her I was, but I was really just saying that. I didn't really feel anything. She was my "first" so you'd think that would have meant something, but I guess it didn't. Now am I just an emotionally centred person who does not suffer the highs and lows that seem to affect others? Perhaps. Or perhaps I am more of a person who avoids emotions. I have thought of myself as both at various times in my life. I prefer the centred explanation, as that makes me sound more like a samurai and samurai's are cool.
Back to my original point, when you watch a movie/hear a song, people seem to have much more interesting lives than what I am leading. I've had fairly stable relationships, jobs, home life, financial situations, which is a blessing I know. But I've also stayed in Winnipeg for all my life (apart from travelling on short trips here and there). I've never lived anywhere else, tossed myself in a crazy situation and tried to sink or swim. I guess I'm just not that kind of person. I have always had an itch to go to Japan or Korea to teach though. Mostly Japan, but I hear that Korea is a blast as well. My brother got to go there as part of a student exchange and seemed to have a good time. I'd like to try that. It may be more difficult now though, what with a kid on the way. Difficult, perhaps impossible.
Maybe I need to just concentrate on what I am and not worry about what could be. You can get sucked in to worry and doubt and forget that you are alive and not living in a trash bin downtown.
I am thankful that I am alive and not living in a trash bin downtown.
Who knows what the future may bring, but I just need to know that I have not been pissing away opportunities by being centred, level headed, fairly frugal, and somewhat static. Or would doing the opposite of all those things just not be who I am? Food for thought I guess.
Last week I went to see The New Pornographers, playing with the Mountain Goats at the Garrick Theatre with Lee. I have a couple of TNP CD's but wouldn't call myself a mega fan or anything. I had also never heard of the Mountain Goats. TNP were kind of a bland live act. They played their instruments well, if loud, sang all the big "hits" but never really did anything to make it special. They also had like 10 people on stage, which was too many. The Mountain Goats on the other hand, made an instant impression. The blaring voice of the lead singer and his drive forward approach to folky type music certainly got the crowd interest. He engaged the audience, cracked jokes, took some requests, and generally did whatever he could to get noticed. He succeeded with me, because I remembered them enough to check out a couple of albums. There was one song I liked called "This year" and now that I have been able to actually better make out the lyrics, I like it more. So Mountain Goats, mission accomplished, your performance made someone go out and learn more about you.
I have been trying to watch some of my collected DVD's and TV shows lately. We're currently blasting through The Big Bang Theory Season 1 and Spartacus Blood and Sand Season 1. Talk about two extremes. One has violence and nudity and the other geek references in a sitcom setting. Both are good in their own way though. Also, you get to see Xena naked and she's really held up well over the years!
Well, that's enough pointlessness for now.