What the Hell am I Doing? or It Might be the Booze Talking...

Every so often I get to thinking, "what the hell am I doing with my life?" This usually comes during long periods of relative inactivity... I mean, I 've been in school for nigh on 7 years now, and what do I really have to show for it... Yes, 2 degrees, but what have they really got me... I am currently working a manual labour job and have yet to even dip my toes in the waters of the film industry... As much as I want to, it's that first step that is so hard/scary. I think that I have some good ideas and could really make something interesting, but what will other people think? Maybe I'm just one of those faceless millions that dream of something but never get it... I'd like to make an impact in my time on this ball of minerals we call the earth, but will I? I don't mean that I want to be some sort of demi-god-like famous celebrity or anything... I'd be happy just getting a film out there that makes people laugh, and that they'd pick up later in their lives to watch and remember the point in their pasts that it was from... kind of like "Back to School" , "UHF" or "Revenge of the Nerds" do for me... It's not like I dream of making the most brilliant or artistic film ever, I just want to make something that I enjoy... If I could make money and be financially secure doing that, then I'd be hella happy.
If my dream is something so minorly mundane, then what is so scary about going after it? Or is it even that I'm scared at all? Maybe I'm just uber lazy... I mean, I do enjoy not doing anything more than doing anything... Is that somehow translating into my "real world" aspirations? Or maybe it's some deep rooted fear of not accomplishing anything... I don't want to just float through my life anonymously... I'd like to have someone recognize me on the street for something I've done... Then again, it's not so much being recognized that interests me, it's more having something tangible that represents me lasting on past my time.... I mean, say what you will about movies like "Police Academy" but they will be here long after the people who made them are... Is it a search for immortality that I'm after? Even if it's immortality through derision? Is it better to be remembered and laughed at then not remembered at all?
All I know is that I really need to get off my semi-lethargic ass and DO something... January will be (hopefully) and important first step in that with my taking of the filmmaking workshop at the Film Group... Until then however....
On a non-psychological musing....
Checked out 80's night again this week. This time with Dave. All in all it was an alright time, with me being the victor of 4 free shots, as I knew the answers to the following trivia questions.
q)What year and album was the song "Money Changes Everything" from.
a)Cyndi Lauper's She's So Unusual, 1984.
q)What album was the song "Cleaning up the town" from.
a)Ghostbusters soundtrack
There wasn't nearly as many people there this week as last... and that girl who I noticed last week was not there this time either.... :(
It would be nice to have someone of the opposite sex around more often....