Thursday, November 11, 2004

So Very Angry or The Great Slight

So I'm usually pretty calm, cool, and collected... It takes a great deal to piss me off. Tonight, something pushed the right combination of buttons to make me mad. I'm sitting here stewing in my hate-filled juices.
The day started off ok, with me sleeping in. I checked out Future Shop and was peeved to find that every DVD set I wanted was overpriced. Needless to say, I didn't buy anything. Nearing the end of a pretty good workout, I was interrupted with a call for work. I obliged! (I also received an 8 hour shift for tomorrow, which is double time and a half!) Work was fine and dandy like some sort of imported candy (oh god....)
The real meat and potatoes of today was to be (hopefully) had after work with my attending a party at Anna's. Longtime readers (if there are any) know the story of Anna and what transpired there. It's been nigh impossible to meet up with her since she got back (in fact I would say it's been impossible, since it has yet to happen) so I was hoping to do some catching up/flirting. Here's where the anger came. Every time I was trying to talk to her, someone would walk in and interrupt. They would then take the conversation over and leave me on the sidelines. I would literally be in mid sentence and someone would be all "hey Anna, blah blah blah." Or she would be in mid sentence to me and the same thing would happen. It didn't help that she was drunk and therefore more succeptible to distraction. There were like 5 minute stretches where I was shut out... I felt like I was invisible and shit. It was really frustrating and annoying.
Now that I stop to think about it a little more maybe I'm mad because I realized that any chance I might have had with Anna was blown WAY back in January. I never made enough of an effort to show interest and she "moved on." I don't want to take full blame for that though, as she was impossible to get in touch with... And really, what do I care anyway? I mean, I didn't really even get a chance to get to know her or anything... I was more of the train of thought "she's cute... might as well." That and I heard that there was some mutuality (is that even a word?!?!) in the sentiment... Once again, the story of my life: You Snooze, You Lose. That's probably the root of my minor anger... The continued realization of the fact that I freeze and become inactive during times when action is required... Hopefully the road to clearing that self-imposed hurdle is being trod upon as we speak.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

aww dude I know the feeling, i'm sure things will get better and another opportunity will turn up soon enough! keep your head up and don't stop trying! :)

November 11, 2004 at 8:55 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sometimes things happen (or don't) for a reason. according to one, it's ka, the all powerful force in the universe which dictates the what, when, where and how. even the why. trust in fate, and you will turn out just fine. destiny is reality.

the prophet

November 13, 2004 at 3:44 p.m.  

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