Egads! I'm Bad at Improv or Why The Hell Did I Do That?

Tonight was one of those nights that I wish I had thought something through better before doing it, which is rare for me because usually I overthink things. Jay was doing a little stand up for some variety show thingy at the old Music Baron downtown. Most of the stuff shown was kinda shitty, but it meant well. Anyway, they did an improv thingy and asked for someone from the audience who had never done improv before to come up and join in. I figured "what's the worst that could happen?" The audience was small and full of people that I didn't know... Man did I suck... And it wasn't just the sucking part, when I did join in, apparently I insulted everyone. One of the participants was Ron Moore, generally a pretty funny guy. When there used to be open mic night at the Zen Lounge (which I participated in twice) he would go up and do bits totally off the top of his head. Sometimes they were really funny, other times so so. Well anyway, during the improv thing, I tapped in and said that to him, asking him if he had a bit planned for later in the night (as he was doing stand up later) or if he was just going to go up and ramble in front of us for 10 minutes again. That was ok, but it was later that really took the cake for suckness. I tapped in and said to this guy (who had an Indiana Jones type look) "Man Indiana Jones is sooooooooo gay, he totally takes it up the pooper from George Lucas..." Then I kinda pushed him... why the hell I did that I don't know... When I was put in later, I (after telling the audience to expect a really bad Sean Connery impression) said to the guy "Hey look behind you Indy" to which he answered "what?" I then said "Precisely, there's nothing there! All the seats are empty! No one's there!" I had actually blanked on something to say and was covering my ass but Jay and Rob both thought that I was insulting the performers and fact that there were only a few people there! Jay got semi-mad at me saying that I insulted everyone there... I didn't mean to! I had never done improv before and it REALLY showed. I sucked ass. I wouldn't even give them my name afterwards I felt so bad. Although Ron Moore didn't seem to think I had insulted him, as Jay brought it up afterward with him and his reaction was not one of agreement. I apologized anyway. Then one of the other guys shook my hand and said "pleasure to work with you" but I think he was just being nice. Fuck! I will never do improv again. I am pretty quick witted under normal circumstances, but in improv I just blanked! Fucking Hell I was terrible. I feel awful now.
The evening was saved however buy a band that went up after and played some songs. At the end of their last song, the lead singer went nuts and started to jump around and smash stuff. He totaled the mic! He also broke his amp and the cymbals! It was pretty cool.
After that was over, we went karaoke-ing at the Limelight. I sang "Sex Machine" by James Brown and "And When I Die" by Blood, Sweat, and Tears. I did ok... I think the spectre of my awful improv performance was hanging over my head... You want to know the worst part of it all? They were taping the variety show thingy... that means that they have a copy of me sucking ass. I'm sure at some point in the future that tape will come back to haunt me... I will never do improv again.... FUCK